Dogs on Ice


Today I was taken to a place that the humans call the Ice Rink. This is A field of frozen water, all white and shiny Once again I'm supposed To be a film star, I will now tell you what it is like to be ice-skating Star, not that I was very successful. There were two cameras standing outside the ice barrier, and quite a number of other types of dogs, if you can call them dogs, some were short and fat, and some were long and tall and they were all of different colors. Really you can't class us in the world of dogs, as we chows are just perfect So I just snarled at the others, to let them know I was not like them and I was better in many ways. My Mistress put on what she called Ice Skates, they seemed to make her so Much taller, Now my mistress had not been ice-skating since I was born As she had been to busy with me. She tied me to a post outside the ring and carefully stepped onto the Ice, hanging on for dear life she walked around slowly trying to get her Footing. Well after a little while, not without a few falls, she seemed to be doing all right, so she came over to fetch me. I thought they were going to give me ice skates, but apparently not, As I was lifted onto the ice by a strange man I did not like and I tried to bite him. How dare he treat a Chow in such a manner, I stood Carefully on the ice, which was very cold on my bare feet, my mistress Called me to come to her, well I tried my best, but with four legs slipping and sliding all over the place, as I took my first step, I Got such a big fright that I sat down and much to my disgrace I wet Myself. For this I was severely scolded by the director, he didn't have any pity for me. I was now cold and wet and very afraid, so I started Bark for my mistress to come and help me. I really didn't know where To put my feet, I tried to step high on my toes, which would have made any Judge proud of me, but I slipped even worse, then I sat down to get my Bearings only to jump up as quick as lightning as my bottom almost got stuck to the ice. Eventually I just stood very carefully and waited Slowly lifting one foot and placing it in front of the other. The problem then was that my back legs would slide away from me and I would land up on my belly. My dear friends don't ever let any one talk you into going ice-skating. You will just make an idiot of yourself. Well after being on that ice for what seemed like hours, the Director asked my mistress to take me off. I went, dripping puddles of water all over everything and once I was on dry ground I had a darn good shake to get all the water out of my fur; I am glad I am pedigreed, because if I was a mongrel like some of the others I would have not fared so lightly, They were dragged around the ice by their owners and they slipped and slid all over the ice. That they did not break any bones is a wonder. I think they must think I am an awful snob, but I really don't care if that is the only way I will be able to keep away from the ice rink. I must admit it was quite an experience but I don't ever want to repeat it again. I would advise you all to keep well away from ice of any kind, It's not much fun for Chows and it is very cold and wet.
Once we were allowed to leave the ice rink I went straight home and the first stop was the kitchen, I really think I deserved a nice warm cup of milk and a chocolate biscuit for my labor. When I told my friend Monique what I had been doing she laughed at me and said that is what I get for creeping up to my mistress all the time. Monique would never allow anyone make her do what she did not want to do.
And if they did try she would just walk like a crab and spoil everything for everyone concerned. But then that's Monique. She really can be a snob. I'm glad she is out of condition, and won't be showing for a few months.

I may then be able to gain some points on her. Oh wishful thinking.